Since last week I’ve been feeling depress. It’s getting a little better now, much more better than last week, but it’s still here. To me, I’ll feel like I’m always sad, so I think it’s normal for the way I act sometimes: spacing out on life, not really talking, ignoring people, finding it hard to communicate with emotions, cry softly behind doors, just basically shutting myself out. But there’s days where i’ll have really bad days and what I go through is worse. I think the reason to why it gets worse is because I’ll think of something that leads to another, and to another that will keep triggering my sadness, making me feel very lonely and small.
I tell myself that I’m okay because there are people out there who are also feeling the same way as me, and is probably doing worse. But I don’t know, it doesn’t really help. I’ll tell myself that it gets better down the road, but a thousand miles later, I’m still the same. Sometimes I wonder if this thing I feel will ever go away. Because I can’t live all my life feeling like this, it hurts. There’s so many years ahead of me, and that scares me.